I should’ve been shocked but, post-Tea Party, was only mildly surprised to read that in 2013 a Utah school district canceled an upcoming high school performance of “All Shook Up,” a musical that features the music of Elvis Presley. Elvis The Pelvis was controversial in the mid-1950’s and it seems that some parents in Utah want to keep that shock and controversy alive. Elvis has the power to still cause hate and fear for anything biological that he might represent or arouse. These concerned conservatives have succeeded at stopping this immoral, raunchy musical/spectacle – surely Utah is cleaner for their actions. To me this is reminiscent of Tipper Gore’s Parent Music Resource Center back in the 1980’s, but this new Utah group seems more reactionary and antiquated.
There are so many other better targets, I feel, that these conservatives have overlooked, and I’d like to offer a few more songs for their excruciated listening and study pleasure. These activists should strive to rip out the roots that caused the Elvis problem to grow and yield the frightening crop and moral decay of contemporary society. (I think Aristotle also blamed bad music for the moral decay of his time.) Who could listen to Elvis and then want to lead a chaste life and lifestyle? If these parents work together perhaps they can get millions more to stop singing about sex.
Here are some songs I recommend they pursue. Somehow these songs are still available for listening and purchasing pleasure (deviance) in 2013. I hope Puritans and Talibanistas everywhere will labor to learn more music and discover the world of metaphors. Perhaps they’ll be able to have these and more carnal songs squashed.
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“I want a butter and egg man. Won’t some great big butter and egg man want me?”
Why does this woman sing so emphatically about wanting a man who possesses BIG BUTTER and EGGS? Is she headed down a dangerous dairy path? With all that is known in 2013 about a diet high in cholesterol, this song might already be maiming young minds but could the butter and eggs be representative of something more than food? Is this a tongue-in-cheek metaphor?
Louis Armstrong – Big Butter and Egg Man
Memphis Minnie talks to Kansas Joe McCoy about the broken down mill….
“Can’t get no grindin’ tell me what’s the matter with the mill?”
And this was decades before Cialis. If only this couple could have had our 2013 chemicals, that could have been one happy and functioning mill.
Memphis Minnie – What’s The Matter With The Mill
Why would someone write and sing a song about a pencil and its lead, and lack of lead? Without lead, one can’t write. Or is all of this pencil and lead talk metaphorical?
“I met a hot mama, I want to love her so bad
I left all the lead in my pencil I had
Now the lead’s all gone, oh the lead’s all gone
Oh the lead’s all gone, this pencil won’t write no more”
Sadly, the man also realizes that, “You sure can tell when a man’s pencil is wrong, his mama’s always shiftin’ from home…”
Bo Carter – My Pencil Won’t Write No More
The Beatles recorded the John Lennon song, “Girl,” on their 1965 album, Rubber Soul. Just what is John so forcefully inhaling five (5) tokes/times in the song, at 0.24 – 0.25, 0.54 – 0.56, 1.23 – 1.25, 1.53 – 1.55, and 2.23 – 2.25? Marijuana? And what are the Beatles singing at 1.01 – 1.20 ? I think the lyric is “tit” stated 64 times (foreshadowing Paul’s song, “When I’m 64?”). I don’t think the Beatles are engaged in metaphors in “Girl.” This is young and direct.
“tit tit tit tit tit tit tit tit tit tit tit tit tit tit tit tit
tit tit tit tit tit tit tit tit tit tit tit tit tit tit tit tit
tit tit tit tit tit tit tit tit tit tit tit tit tit tit tit tit
tit tit tit tit tit tit tit tit tit tit tit tit tit tit tit tit”
That would make this seemingly innocent song, “Girl,” the ULTIMATE song about sex and drugs. Or if not sex and drugs, a woman’s breast and the increasingly legal soft drug, pot-i-juana.
The Beatles – Girl
Finally, Bo Carter sings another song about his brand new skillet, burning his bread, and arranging to add his fruit, in particular, a banana, to her fruit basket. Surely this song is only about cooking, dairy products and fruit arrangements.
“Now i got the dasher, my baby got the churn
We gonna churn, churn, churn until the butter come
Then I’m tellin’ you baby, I sure ain’t gonna deny,
Let me put my banana in your fruit basket, then I’ll be satisfied”
Bo Carter – Banana In Your Fruitbasket
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Wishing everyone a buttery, fruitful 2013 : )